Thanks, Ruby Incarnidine
I want him here, in front of me. I want to heal the hurt in his eyes, and almost more than that I want him bent over my bed.
I want him so deeply that it's a low ache in the pit of my stomach.
I can see him now, in a long pencil skirt which emphasizes his beautiful legs, a cowl-necked blouse softening the width of his shoulders and emphasizing his tiny waist. I can see him in shiny, patent heels, walking toward me with an uncertain look in his eyes.
His woman-self has been hurt, decried, and it complicates my craving for her.
The hurt that she was caused, that I was a part of, complicates the image I have of her in my mind's eye- the soft swell of breasts and sweet little ass, the long, beautiful legs encased in sheer thigh-highs.
I want this part of him- this her- and that wanting is complicated and mixed in with my desire to heal her pain and express my love for this side of him, that is her.
I want it, though. Want to walk beside her with my cock heavy in my slacks, my already-masculine gait modified by its weight. Want to bind my breasts down and open doors for her like a gentleman, then press her to the floor beneath the weight of me. I want to drag her skirt up her thighs, leaving the heels and thigh-highs in place, and pull lacy panties out of the way for my cock, which is already aching.
I love him as a boy. And I am learning that I love him as a girl. It took nearly losing her to begin to see that.
In my mind's eye, I see my hands, devoid of their feminine rings for once, sliding up those thighs I know so well as a boy and seeing anew as a girl, slipping on the unfamiliar texture of the thigh-highs, which I've only known on my own skin, feeling the elastic slip into skin too soft to be a man's as my fingers travel higher, find scratchy-soft lace and what for this moment is my cunt.
The only cunt that I have, today.
The only cunt that I want.
I can feel my lubed fingers sliding inside, hear the little gasps and moans that drive me completely insane in either gender.
I can feel the urgency building, and I understand suddenly why so few men take the time that women want. This is intoxicating, and I want to press immediately into her- no lube, no prep, just my body owning the beautiful one beneath me.
Just this body, this man who today is my woman, writhing beneath me and moaning, begging me for more while I ride her.
It took almost losing her to begin to learn how much that I need her.
I'm sorry, my darling.
I want you.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Meet J
J's an old (female) friend who has been recently going through a sort of sexual liberation, having arrived at that time of life where the family is done and health and libido are in great shape and ready for challenges.
I've been acting as her 'advisor' with spectacular results.
You'll hear more from her and of her in due course, here's a recent fragment.
I have been wearing just not quite to work yet. After hours and weekends are it but you can think of me getting home ... oh, around 5.30, 6.00. Stripping and walking into my shower where warm, cascading water will slough off the trials of the day. A little aromatic oil carefully rubbed over every inch of my bare, bare body. Hands and fingers paying attention to every curve, every detail. Warm from my shower I will pad upstairs, lay across my bed. I will roll onto my side and carefully and very gently slip nj inside me. A little stretch is all I will feel. But it will remind me of what I will feel when you move in behind me, feel your warmth, your hardness.
I've been acting as her 'advisor' with spectacular results.
You'll hear more from her and of her in due course, here's a recent fragment.
I have been wearing just not quite to work yet. After hours and weekends are it but you can think of me getting home ... oh, around 5.30, 6.00. Stripping and walking into my shower where warm, cascading water will slough off the trials of the day. A little aromatic oil carefully rubbed over every inch of my bare, bare body. Hands and fingers paying attention to every curve, every detail. Warm from my shower I will pad upstairs, lay across my bed. I will roll onto my side and carefully and very gently slip nj inside me. A little stretch is all I will feel. But it will remind me of what I will feel when you move in behind me, feel your warmth, your hardness.
Outward correspondence
Hi Lee,
We could talk about this stuff for hours but it sounds as though you're on the road to resolution so I'll just contribute a couple of points.
Like your wife I had plenty of sexual contact before marriage, and when I married I made a vow (to myself as well as to the preacher) to be monogamous.
Now, the marital relationship evolves and changes, especially once the family starts. Her attention must shift from you to her children and this casts you in a different light. It also increases pressure on you to be the provider both emotionally and materially.
I describe the marriage at this point as a 'business' relationship, like that with a colleague or business partner. To reach the common goal (more or less, raising a family) it becomes more functional and less romantic. At the same time you are bound together by your social network and material possessions.
Throughout human history until the last decade or two this would be the start of the downhill run; your health would slowly begin to fail, you would cede your life to your children and grandchildren, and sexual needs would be all but forgotten.
In 2009 though we are in much better physical shape and probably less than half way through our lives. What's more, pervasive media tells us we deserve to be sexually active and sexually successful. Not only that, new technology makes it ridiculously easy to make sexual contact.
So we have motive, and we have opportunity. The wonder is that monogamy persists at all - and for many, even most, it doesn't.
Your marriage is operating under a set of rules that didn't exist when you first tied the knot. It has to adapt, or perish. The good news is that you seem to be well on the path to adaptation, however painful, and my guess is that you're going to succeed where so many don't.
Cheers
We could talk about this stuff for hours but it sounds as though you're on the road to resolution so I'll just contribute a couple of points.
Like your wife I had plenty of sexual contact before marriage, and when I married I made a vow (to myself as well as to the preacher) to be monogamous.
Now, the marital relationship evolves and changes, especially once the family starts. Her attention must shift from you to her children and this casts you in a different light. It also increases pressure on you to be the provider both emotionally and materially.
I describe the marriage at this point as a 'business' relationship, like that with a colleague or business partner. To reach the common goal (more or less, raising a family) it becomes more functional and less romantic. At the same time you are bound together by your social network and material possessions.
Throughout human history until the last decade or two this would be the start of the downhill run; your health would slowly begin to fail, you would cede your life to your children and grandchildren, and sexual needs would be all but forgotten.
In 2009 though we are in much better physical shape and probably less than half way through our lives. What's more, pervasive media tells us we deserve to be sexually active and sexually successful. Not only that, new technology makes it ridiculously easy to make sexual contact.
So we have motive, and we have opportunity. The wonder is that monogamy persists at all - and for many, even most, it doesn't.
Your marriage is operating under a set of rules that didn't exist when you first tied the knot. It has to adapt, or perish. The good news is that you seem to be well on the path to adaptation, however painful, and my guess is that you're going to succeed where so many don't.
Cheers
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Nugget 2 - Fetlife
This is a new-ish community for the fetish crowd, put together brilliantly by John Baku who steadfastly refuses to profit by it.
'Fetish' means just about anything except straight sex in the missionary position. There are groups for every perversion you can think of, and plenty you can't; where else would you find support for a fetish called 1950s household?
If you're thinking of trolling for sex or making a nuisance of yourself, don't bother because you'll be bundled off very quickly. The brilliance of the design is that, much like real-life society, you have to become involved in discussion groups and build some credibility before anyone's going to take you seriously, or before you can find like minded people in your area.
On the other hand, once registered (fast and free) you can freely browse groups and profiles, which are well stocked with good advice, novel insights, and pics that are definitely NSFW. If your personal kink has made you feel like an outsider until now, welcome home!
Here you go
'Fetish' means just about anything except straight sex in the missionary position. There are groups for every perversion you can think of, and plenty you can't; where else would you find support for a fetish called 1950s household?
If you're thinking of trolling for sex or making a nuisance of yourself, don't bother because you'll be bundled off very quickly. The brilliance of the design is that, much like real-life society, you have to become involved in discussion groups and build some credibility before anyone's going to take you seriously, or before you can find like minded people in your area.
On the other hand, once registered (fast and free) you can freely browse groups and profiles, which are well stocked with good advice, novel insights, and pics that are definitely NSFW. If your personal kink has made you feel like an outsider until now, welcome home!
Here you go
Nugget 1
I have to put Analita at the top of list because she's the one to drag me from my cave, blinking in the light, and push me back here.
I hope she's still there, that link was down just now. If so you just missed an attractive and articulate young woman with an anal fetish and a partner who's a skilled photographer.
I hope she's still there, that link was down just now. If so you just missed an attractive and articulate young woman with an anal fetish and a partner who's a skilled photographer.
It's been a while
My day job took over, now there's an unhealthy perversion if ever there was one. Thanks to those correspondents who pointed that out.
The probing mind has had to be limited to the shiny steel within me most days and a quick skim of the newsreader for nuggets of perversion. Nuggets found, and will be reported on shortly.
It's good to be back but fluency may take a while. I've been playing the geek, and it's hard to type when your knuckles are drag on the ground.
The probing mind has had to be limited to the shiny steel within me most days and a quick skim of the newsreader for nuggets of perversion. Nuggets found, and will be reported on shortly.
It's good to be back but fluency may take a while. I've been playing the geek, and it's hard to type when your knuckles are drag on the ground.
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